Hopeless in Hopedale

Yesterday I was privileged to visit the lovely town of Hopedale. A city named by a prominent business owner to bid good wishes of prosperity to all of his workers who moved there back in 1886. I was hoping for good things in Hopedale. My book club book to be exact. My search started for this book in Bellingham last Saturday. I went there in the hope of beating all of my book club friends there and snatching up this month's selection; Stolen Innocents; The Story of a Teen aged Polygamist Bride. The Franklin library is always first on all of our lists so by Saturday all of the copies were gone.

There I was in Bellingham our neighboring town and just far enough away to be too far for most of my book club friend's to travel. Or so I thought! But alas their copies were all out as well. I looked on the computer and found some copies in other neighboring towns. I clicked on the first town on the list, Oxford. I took the kids on a 2 hour wild goose chase to a closed library in a poodunk little town.

On Tuesday I checked on the Bellingham library website to see if I could switch the book to a closer library, namely Bellingham. I can not do Franklin because we are in a different system.

I see the selection marked "Ready for Pick up In Library". I assumed that somehow I did get the library book sent to Bellingham because I was on there website and my line read pick up in "the" library and no other library was listed. After all I did order the book from inside the Bellingham library. Maybe they held the book for 24 hours in Oxford and then shipped it automatically to the library the book was ordered from. The book is mine!

Thank God! Because I saw that Oprah featured the book on her show today. That means every woman in the hemispheres is running out to get the book. Thank the grace of God that I put the book on hold on Saturday. For once I am ahead of the game! I bet anyone who reserves the book today will be 400th on a huge Oprah powered library book wait-list.

I go to the Bellingham library the next day to take Alice to the Ding A Ling A Sing Thing. A music class for toddlers that Alice loves. While Alice is dinging, singing, and shaking her thing. I slip out to pick up my book. The annoyed older librarian checks their shelf and can not find the book. Then the unfriendly librarian with the long hair looks on the computer and frowns at me.

"Yeah know. You didn't send it here?" She snaps at me with a hair flip and an exaggerated sigh.

"Ah...no I didn't know that's why I asked for it Bitch!" I didn't say. "Oh sorry, is the book still in Oxford?" I ask nicely while wishing I wasn't so nice.

"Oxford!"...Sigh...hair flip..."No. The book is not in Oxford. The book was sent from Oxford to NCWO."

"Oh, where is that? I can drive there today." I say again way too nicely.

"I don't know? What do those initials stand for." She rudely asks the older librarian.

"NCWO?" The other librarian asks back.

"Yes...sigh"

"I have no idea? Look it up in the book." Then the mean librarian says the words I fear the most.

"I'll just cancel the order and you can go to the computer and reorder it today and have it sent here." Then I tell her all about the book and Oprah and the 400 people that must be on the wait list. These are the unhappiest librarians I have ever encountered. She shoots daggers at me and goes to look in the book. After about 10 minutes of hair flipping sighing, eye rolling, and complaining about how the book has no library who's initials are NCWO to the other librarian.

The older librarian looks at me and scowls and replies. "Did you ask her where she sent the book?" The mean ones replies.

"She doesn't know." The she complains about how she does not have time to waste to help me, and the mean librarian gives up.

I have no book and I now hate this woman. I return pissed, and frustrated to the happy world of The Ding A Ling A Sing Thing and try to be happy for Alice but mostly because of the wonderful sweet librarian who runs the class. She is so positive and up beat. Every Wednesday she whips up a room of hyper out of control toddlers into a music-puppet-instrument-scarf-book-song-filled magical child wonderland. The kids love her and she is a musical fairy, she is their muse and even a pissed off mom can not stay angry in her perfect presence.

After the class I jump on Yahoo and found that the library code "NCWO" was the library at Nichols college. Duh! My husband got his undergrad there. Double duh! Nichols is in Dudley the town next door to Oxford. I quickly write down the phone number and run to tell my good news to the mean librarian. I run up and hand her the paper and ask her to please have my book sent here.

She looks at the paper and sighs. "You can't use your Bellingham card to take out a book there! Only students enrolled at the college can check out these books." Then she hands me the piece of paper back and walks into the back room. I see red. I am about to jump over the counter and grab her by her long black hair when the sweet magical Ding A Ling A Sing Thing fairy walks out from the back room. She greets me with sincere smile that melts my anger away. She asks what the problem is and in about 10 seconds she has found my book for me at a library in Hopedale (a town about 9 minutes away). I almost jump over the counter to hug and kiss her. Instead I give her a sincere thank you. With in a few minutes Alice and I are off with happiness and hope in our hearts heading to Hopedale.

With the help of Red my GPS we are now at the front doors of the Hopedale library. I try to open the door, but the library is closed. The sign says that they open at 1:00pm. I check my cellphone and see that it reads 11:49. Alice and I stroll into their cute little 4 building downtown and drop off something at the post office and buy Christmas stamps. It's 12:01.

We stop at the cute little lunch place in their town hall. There are no seats and Alice is starting to get fussy. I look at a menu and decide that I don't want to pay 6.95 for a sandwich that my daughter will only eat a bite of. I drag her out and end up carrying her all the way back to the car.

We compromise and I drive back to Milford and we eat at McDonald's where I buy here a 4.00 Happy meal; she gets a toy, milk, fries, and a cheeseburger that she only take one bite of. I get a salad for later. I put the salad in my baby bag. Life is good. At 12:45 we are heading back to Hopedale.

We are parked behind the library at 12:49.....by 1:15 the library is still closed. I drag Alice around the building to the front doors to check on the times, perhaps I read them wrong. The front door opens and we are in! I go to the desk and ask them where I can find the book. They give excellent directions and the library is small so I find my book in about 10 seconds. Then we go down the stairs to quickly check out the kids room and check out the book and be in the car in no time. HUGE MISTAKE!

We get to a dark children's room. The librarian comes behind us and turns on the lights and unlocks the back door. I check the clock 1:23...23 minutes late an abomination. You know how freaky I am about being on time. Alice starts doing a puzzle I go to check out the book. The librarian is busy turning on lights and fixing her station. Then 3 kids and two adults come in and she asks them if they want to hear a story. They do and the 6 of them leave the kid's room and I am standing at the desk alone. They go to another community type room across the hall. Alice follows me, my daughter hates being left out of anything.

Alice loudly barges in an disrupts the group I am told that these kids are a Kindergarten group,

but Alice can stay if she really wants too (Why do librarian's hate me?). Alice thumps down on the ground and immediately starts looking around the room. She spots a doll house. She gets up and tries to play with it. I redirect her and the story stops as they all stare at me. Even the kids are giving me bitch looks. Alice sits back down.

One of the adults mentions that Alice has a binky and a blanket at her age. Yeah so what. Would you rather she has a budlight and a crack pipe? Shut up bitch! I smile and ignore her as Alice is up again and running over to a Thomas book that makes music. before I stop her she is pressing buttons and the story hour is again stopped and observing her in disgust. I run to grab her and to put the book back and I smell a very strong odor coming from her pants.

I carry her out to get my bag in the Children's room and find the bathroom. We squeeze into a bathroom the size of a phone booth. No changing table, barley room for the two of us to stand. I take the diaper out of the bag and grab a handful of salad. My salad has opened and spilled in to

my bag. I pull out a diaper covered in bacon bits and lettuce. I change Alice the best I can and try to clean out my bag.

Now I want to check out this book I walk out of the bathroom and Alice runs down the hall and back into the story room. I catch up and grab her just as she enters. She screams and the librarian stops reading and says;
"This is a quiet story time for older children." I want to grab the book out of her hand and start beating her with it. I say.

"I know. That's why I took her out." I pick up Alice and one of the grown ups says to the other one.

"Well at least she smells better. She was pretty ripe." I honestly hate these people and I am a very nice person. I carry Alice back to the children's room and I look at my watch, 1:35.

I wait for story time to be over as obviously she is the only librarian down here and Alice is fussing because she wants to listen to the story and I won't let her go back in there. I also don't want to carry her tantruming up and down the steep stairs. I let her do puzzles while I wait at the counter for the librarian. I honestly start to wonder if I am on a hidden camera TV show. Eventually the librarian comes out to the desk to answer a phone call 1:46.

She ignores me and my book with the library card on top of it. She talks and talks. I guess she is having a hard time planning a Chinese New Year party. Someone is sick and she has to do all the work herself. Work? Like checking out library books? For people who are standing in front of you? People who have lives? I give up and go do puzzles with Alice. I hear the phone hang up, 1:59.

I run the 50 paces over to the counter where my book is still on the counter with the card still on top. I reach the counter at the same time as a young woman holding a cardboard box. She starts to talk to the woman and ignoring me. The woman is from some non-profit group who wants to hold an educational program at the library. She has materials to show the librarian. They have to plan the program and go over the handouts. I stand there until I am feeling so much tension that I about to snap! Alice starts fussing. I walk back over to Alice 2:16.

I am about to go insane. I notice that their is no alarm system on the door and I honestly consider simply stealing the book. I consider stealing it quite seriously and then my sense comes back and I check the clock, 2:23.

I march over and plaster the nicest grimace I can muster and cut off the do-gooder mid sentence and say. "Can I please check out this book!" The librarian looks over at me as the two adults and three kindergartners come into the children's room to thank the librarian for the story. The librarian apologizes for not being able to finish and I stand there for another 5 minutes, 2:28.

I think again about stealing the book, but they have all seen it in my hands. Also I don't know if I could live with the irony of stealing a book titled "Stolen Innocents", not to mention being a thief.

I now cut off the grown-up who I hate anyway in mid sentence. She gives me a horrified bitch look. I glare back.

"I need to check out this book!" I say not nicely. The librarian looks at me with wide open eyes and flares nostrils. She grabs my card and the book beeps it with the laser thingy and hand it back. They are all staring at me. I go to fetch Alice who has attached herself to a red stuffed M&M candy doll. When I ask her to put the doll back she freaks out and starts screaming and kicking her legs. I understand we have been running around all day. The task of getting one book from this library has take over 2 hours. For the first time I want to throw a tantrum right next to her on the floor. I take a deep breath and say as calmly as I can under the circumstances.

"Alice, we have to go. You need to come with me, or Mommy is going to have to go put this stuff in the car and then come carry you out." I count and she screams even louder. The ladies and kids all stare at me like I am an 3-headed alien. I turn on my heels and run out to the car (which is right outside the back door). I throw the huge hardcover book, her coat, my coat, her blanket, and my big messy diaper bag into the front seat of the car. Then I go back into the library and find the same group staring over at Alice still crying on the floor. They glare at me as I pick her up and carry her screaming out the door. I get her strapped in turn on the car and laugh the clock reads 2:35.

I now have to speed home to Franklin in order to pick Dylan up from school at 3:00. Alice and I have spent 2 and a half hours trying to check out a library book in Hopedale. I have never felt so stressed, annoyed, and as hopeless as I did in this city of hope. I have to laugh.

If you live in Hopedale and you are reading this please don't hate me. But something tells me that if you live in this town you just automatically do.