Flaming Idiot

This afternoon at about 4:30 I am boiling water, for pasta.

You know what they say about a watched pot never boiling. I understand I can't work when people stare over my shoulder either. I do hate to micromanage so I leave the water and the pot alone to boil in private. I go into the other room to start my blog. I sit down and type a few words when I smell something burning. I run out into the kitchen to find the days mail smoldering on the stove! Earlier I had dropped the mail on the counter, but half of it is on the stove's front burner. We have one of those flat top stoves. I didn't move the mail because I was boiling water on the back burner. The mail should have been fine on the front. Too bad that I have actually turned on the front burner. This is not fine. This is in fact a smoldering fire hazard.

The kitchen is filled with smoke. The mail pile is blackening and disintegrating at a rapid pace. I swoop in and snatch the smoldering mail off of the hot burner and fling it out side on to the porch and stomp the flames out. The worst damage is to a Fortune magazine and a large manila envelope addressed to my husband from his 91-year-old grandmother. She has been sending him lots of articles on resume writing and job searching these days. I am relieved that nothing important has been ruined.

I turn over the Manila envelope on the porch to make sure that all of the burning has ceased and a note falls out. The paper is singed but legible. The note reads: "Hi Dave, Linzee and George have been helping me clean out my family memories files. Here are some things that I have been saving for you. Much Love, Granny."

My eyes bug out as I take a closer look at the contents of the envelope. These are not current newspaper articles. These articles are 20 years old they are dated 1984 and 1987. Their is a program from a dinner awards night from 1991. I start to hyperventilate. No this can't be. I am a horrible wife! I have just burned up my husband's priceless childhood memories!

I am a flaming idiot!