A Regular Day

Some days I honestly think that my life is a hidden camera show. We walk in to the YMCA 20 minutes late to meet my good friend. We see cups of cherry tomatoes on the counter. Alice grabs a cup. I see a sign that says that the tomatoes cost $1.00. Then I look down at Alice who is busy licking all of the tomatoes in her cup. My wallet is in the car. I am late. I look around. No one seems to have noticed. No one is pointing at Alice or calling security. I grab the cup and shove it in my bag. I will pay them a dollar tomorrow.

We get to the locker room and Dylan tells me that he has no bathing suit. Crap! I thought that he was already wearing a bathing suit. He is wearing nylon basket ball shorts. Hmm they kind of look like a bathing suit. I take off his shirt and say. "Okay now your shorts are a bathing suit."

Alice refused to wear clothes over her bathing suit so she is all set. I am still wearing shorts and a tee-shirt. In our YMCA in order to get to the outdoor pool you have to walk out of the locker room through the entire indoor pool area. Today is hot and I am not in the mood to strut down the fat walk today. I am already sweating in unpleasant places. I walk the kids through the pool area and outside to where I see my friend.

I find us some chairs and begin to take off my camouflage. Alice seizes the opportunity and jumps in the pool before she showers. Darn that's two strikes against my mothering skills today. I take Dylan over to the outdoor shower and see a guy with a huge movie sized camera on the lawn. I try hiding behind Dylan. He is about four feet tall and weighs 58 pounds. I don't think the guy is taping but I can't take any chances. I don't leave the shower area until the camera guy leaves. Then I shower and Dylan and I head over to the pool. Dylan jumps in and I feel drops on my head. Could Dylan's splash be so big? More drops. It's sprinkling.

I get in to the pool and swim over to my friend and her son. I whisper "it's raining."

"Shut-Up! " She yells. "Will they close the pool?"

"They have before, but only when their is thunder."

We both look up at the gray cloudy sky. This does not look promising. We reassure each other that the showers are simply passing then we swim with our kids. We swim for about 15 minutes. Before the sky opens up and the rain starts pouring. Our towels, clothes, her carriage are getting wet. Then we hear the grumbling.

I swim over again. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah."

"Perhaps they have a drum circle here?"

"No."

"Target range?"

"Nope."

"Everybody you have to leave the pool. Sorry you all have to get out." My friend and I give each other exasperated looks. Getting kids out of the house and ready for swimming is a chore. We both decide that we have spent at least 30-45 minutes getting these kids ready to swim for only 15. Now we all have soggy towels, clothes, children, and attitudes. We try to make the best of our situation. We sit in our chairs and let the sky rain on us. All of us are already wet.

"Excuse me ladies. You can't sit here. You have to leave the pool area." Seriously...am I on a hidden camera show? This is all a joke right? Right? All of our towels are wet, the kids have no change of clothes. I have no underwear and I have to wear a bra at all times. I don't want to go there. Just trust me on this one! The indoor pool is being used by the camp and off limits. Basically we have to go home. I put my clothes over my wet bathing suit and drag the kids to the car. We are all so wet and the car is so hot and humid that we steam up the windows. We are all uncomfortable and miserable. Strike three! I am out!