Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Is this your life too?


I have just made Dylan’s new favorite meal, Pizza burgers. Pizza burgers are tomato and basil Morning Star veggie burgers with provolone cheese and tomato sauce on a hamburger bun. Pizza burgers are a huge victory for team mommy they are healthy and good. The burgers are hot and the table is set. I call the kids….nothing.

I call them again no answer.

Dave tries to wrangle them into the kitchen while I serve the burgers. Dylan walks in alone and I hear Dave scream. “OH No! Alice no!” Then he runs into the kitchen and grabs the wipes and a plastic bag.

“She had an accident. A smelly accident!” Then he runs out.

Dylan is sitting and staring at his burger. The second I sit down Dylan asks “Mom what is this?” pointing to the burger as if it is monkey brains.

“Sweety it’s a pizza burger.” I say

“Why does it look like a cheese burger?”

“Because there is cheese on it.”

“I hate cheese. Is there another one?” I get up and get him a new burger without cheese drizzle it with sauce put it in a bun and hand it back to him. The second I sit down he asks.

“Mom can I have a drink?”

“Sure honey.” I get up and get him a glass of apple juice. I hand him the drink and the second I sit down he asks.

“where is the ketchup?”

“Honey you don’t need ketchup I already put on sauce.”

“Can I put on more sauce?” I get up and get the sauce. He insists on putting the sauce on the burger himself. I sit down and say.

“Honey don’t put on too much.”

“I won’t” He says as he dumps half of the jar of tomato sauce over his poor burger.

“Dylan that’s too much.

“No I like it that way.” He says as he grabs the burger and gets tomato sauce all over his hands. “Mom can I have a napkin.” I get up and hand him a stack of napkins. He wipes his hands and tries to take another bite. The second I sit down he says.

“You’re right I put on too much sauce. Can I have a new bun?” I get up and get him a new bun wipe off the burger and place it in. I sit down just as Alice and Daddy come in and sit down.

“Momma I want juicy?” Alice asks and it all begins again. Maybe I should save time and eat standing up. Isn't that what the moms did in the 1950s.

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