Family Vacation an Oxymoron

Last night we got back from our mini Vermont
vacation. Needless to say we are exhausted. Our house is cluttered with bags in various stages of being unpacked. We have an abundance of laundry and a lack of food and money. (Dave is still looking for a job).

Our mini vacation was a nice break. We all had a wonderful time. We spent three days of nonstop family fun! The kids had a blast and enjoyed each others company. Dave and I also enjoyed some quality alone time to rejuvenate our romance....NOT!

We drove up there to the kids screaming and fighting for 3 and a half hours of the four hour drive. Once we got up to Vermont we were shocked to discover that the weather was cold and cloudy. I packed us all shorts, tank-tops, and bathing suits. Not a sweat shirt between us.

I assumed that we'd spend three days hanging out at picturesque swimming holes. Perhaps with a rope swing. I could picture Dylan jumping off the rope and yipping with delight as he flew through the air landing in the cool water below. Yeah, so there would be none of that.

But that's okay Vermont has many wonderful activities! Like biking...we didn't bring the bikes or the helmets and no money to rent. Hiking is fun...but not for kids in Crocs and tank tops freezing and complaining each step of the way. The only things the kids wanted to do was fight and complain.

Dave and I were a bit short tempered. We were expending so much energy keeping the kids from killing each other, trashing our friend's house, and whining that we both spent most of the three days yelling.

Why do families do this too themselves? I did have a few minutes to spend with my friend. As a family we did survive, but would you really call this excursion a vacation? Every one knows taking the kids away from the house is always more work and stress for the parents. The only way a parent can actually have a true vacation is if the kids aren't there.

Lydia Has Escaped to Vermont

Tuesday Dave and I threw the kids and the dog in to the car and drove to Vermont. We had to escape our house and give the kids a chance to have an answer to that inevitably unavoidable question "What did you do for summer vacation?" Up until the trip the answer to this question would be: watched TV, fight with my brother/sister, complain, watch the front yard turn into pond. Not the best summer on record.

Since our family still has no income the best vacation we could throw together one a shoestring was a trip to visit my best friend Perrin and her husband in Warren Vermont. I am in there beautiful grand living room right now.

We went to Stowe today and managed saw lots of great shops and even drove the car up a mountain. Too bad Alice was crying that she wanted to go home. Hence preventing us from actually exploring any of the cool mountain trails. Why do you have to bring your kids on family vacations? It just complicated everything.

Dylan did still manage to have the best day of his life. I guess our regular life is pretty boring. I guess I the kid has his bar low. Their were some high lights we did manage to lose one pair of sun glasses belonging to Dave, and one shoe belonging to Alice. I have always wondered how come there are so many lone shoes travelling on our streets and highways. Now I will be much more understanding. Alice has added a Princess Croc to the great lone shoe migration.

Well tonight we are going to party Vermont style. I can hear the beer bottles clanging down stairs at the bar. I have to go. When you are on vacation it's always 5 o'clock. Tomorrow is Ben & Jerry's, Lake Champlain Chocolates, and Cabot Cheese. I might never come home!

What I Did For Summer Vacation

This is the summer of Jesus. Because through out each day I can be heard looking up at the sky throwing my hands over my head and hollering out "Help me Jesus!" Most of my pleas for help end something like. "Please help me calm down so I don't kill these kids today." I am glad to report that the kids are still alive, but their mother is two sips away from being a whole Tall Boy of crazy.

We survived a month of rain and now the sun is shining and my kids are too busy fighting to enjoy it. They spent way too much time being cooped up in close quarters together during typhoon season. Now they it seems after a month together inside they want to end their relationship completely. Well Dylan does, but I told him that brothers and sisters can't get a divorcee. Alice is no help. She is basking in her newly discovered super powers. She has realized that she can easily make her brother miserable and with a tad more effort make the boy flip out completely in a great dramatic fashion.

I know I witness her shenanigans daily. Dylan will be playing with his favorite markers. Alice will walk over and say to him.

"Dylan! Those markers mine."

"They're not your."

"Those markers mine."

"They are not yours!"

"Mine."

"STOP SAYING THAT! (primordial scream) THEY ARE MINE! MOOOOM! ALICE IS SAYING THAT THEY ARE HERS AND THEY'RE MINE! I HATE HER! SHE IS TORTURING ME! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BEAST! MOOOM" And Dylan is catapulted right out of sanity and into the planet freak-out. I see Alice smiling. She must think that this is the best game ever. She hardly has to do anything and her older brother is screaming and running around the room. This is a dangerous game because sometimes Alice pushed Dylan too far and he hits her. In that case They are both screaming and running around the room at the same time. That is where we have been lately with Mom in the middle. Literally they are both hanging onto a limb and complaining about the horrid deeds of the other.

"She said my toy was hers!"

"He hit me my leg!" I am being pulled and strangled between two violent warlords.

"Well she started it!"

"Dylan hit me!" I get smacked by flying hands and feet as I try to separate them in an attempt to try and calm them down. Usually I end up screaming at both of them, they booth reunite against me, and they end up in their rooms and I end up in the kitchen eating junk food to calm my own nerves wondering why motherhood seemed so easy before I had kids.

This is how I have been spending my summer.... a crazed referee sandwiched between two pint sized prize fighters. At the beach, at the pond, in the pool, on the playground, in the yard. The background changes but my stress stays the same.

When does school start?