Today Alice and I find ourselves at Shaw’s Supermarket in Sharon. Sharon is a nice town about 15 minutes down the highway from Franklin and our humble homestead. There is a Shaw’s Supermarket about two tenths of a mile from our house is Franklin, but this Shaw’s has an Eastern bank. Yes, our closest bank branch is 15 minutes away in a grocery store. Yes, there are at least ten other banks with in a one-mile radius from our house. Yes, we should probably find a new bank. What can I say we are loyal bankers? We hate change? We prefer there lollipops? What difference does it make; our bank preference isn’t the point of this story. The point is that Alice and I are in Shaw’s to deposit a generous birthday check and the bank is closed. The bank opens at ten AM and my cell phone reads nine twenty. Alice and I have forty minutes to wait for the bank to open.
Alice and I start walking the aisles of the market. We have nothing to buy, but we have nothing better to do. Our first find is Campbell’s character soup for one dollar a can. Do you buy this stuff? Instead of regular noodles you pay more for Disney Princess, Sponge Bob, or Dora noodles? I hate the kinds of products! Generic chicken noodle soup is .55 cents a can, but my kids beg me to pay $1.55 a can for these unrecognizable mutant noodles? Usually I refuse. Today I can spend a dollar a can. I drop three Princess, Three Cars, and four Sponge Bob into the cart.
We stroll down a few more aisles. We see neon orange Halloween Oreos. Hello lover! Oreos complete me; I want them, even if the filling is the color of a bad spray tan. I stay strong and resist the temptation. Our next find is Pepperidge Farm Gold Fish crackers. I can’t resist these cute pies…uh fishies..for a dollar a bag. Gold fish are a necessity. I grab ten bags in assorted flavors.
We complete our bargain hunter’s walking tour of the entire store. I look at my cell phone the time is nine fifty –five. Now we all we have to do is check out and by the time we are done the bank will be opened. I look down at my full cart. Why do I have a full cart? What is all of this stuff? Do I need honestly 10 rolls of scotch tape? Does anyone in our house eat Matzo? I take a few minutes to purge my cart. Then I proceed to the checkout lane. I end up only spending thirty-nine-dollars. Thirty-nine dollars worth of stuff we really don’t need.
That’s okay I am going to deposit a couple of hundred dollars money in the bank. I drag the cart over to the bank and reach into my purse for the card. I quickly find the envelope empty. No card. No check. Alice and I go check in the car. No check. We drive the fifteen minutes home with our thirty-nine dollars worth of groceries. I get home and search the house top to bottom looking for the lost check. After three hours I find the card with the check still inside hidden in the bottom drawer of Alice’s dresser.
This is a typical day for me. I’ll go back to the bank tomorrow.