Okay so where did all of these single socks come from? Hold on I am going to count these socks…Okay so I can’t count these socks. There are way too many socks to count! The single socks fill up an 18 gallon plastic tub. 18 gallons of single socks? I have found my first New Year’s resolution. I am going to find mates for all of these socks! Okay so I am going to match the socks that have mates then I can and bury the rest behind the house. What? I can’t flush them down the toilet. I mean how many sock puppet can one mom make?
First I am going to separate them into three piles; mine, Dylan’s, and Alice’s. No. Dave’s socks aren’t here. His socks have homing devices sewn into them. No not really they use the old fashioned buddy system. They go from the drawer, to the foot, to the laundry basket, to the washer and dryer together. The rest of our socks escape from our feet and hide under couches, chairs, and in toy boxes. Have you ever tried to catch wild socks? They are quick and they are good at camouflaging themselves. I think that they are like geckos their colors change to blend in with their surroundings. I just wait for our sock drawers to start running low than I simply buy more socks, 18 gallons of socks to be exact.
Okay so a few hours have elapsed and I have sorted a third of the socks. I have matched a lot of socks. I have also tossed out a lot of yucky pairs of socks; old worn out socks, pilled socks, even some holiday themed socks that seemed so cute on the rack. Perhaps forty-year-old woman should not wear ice cream cone, or flying pig themed socks? Don’t worry I kept the day glow skeleton and purple and black witch socks. A girl has to have some fun. But here is my dilemma. I have about 10 single socks left. I like these socks. Oh nice tick pink sock, soft grey sock, cute white and red Valentine’s Day socks. I can’t throw any of these away I love these socks. So do I keep them and hence perpetuating the lost sock cycle? I know I should just throw them away, but what if I throw them away and then find the mate? Maybe the mate to my cute red and white Valentine’s Day sock is under the couch right now listening to me typing on the computer?
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The 2009 Year on a Shelf
To celebrate the New Year here is a list of things that have accumulated on the shelf over our washing machine in 2009. These are items that have been rescued from pockets or laundry bags, as well as items that survived a full wash cycle and lived to tell the tale.
Black Guitar pick
Nail file
3 screws
2 nuts
5 various buttons
1 mini golf pencil
2 Safety Pins
Black pen cap
A tiny light bulb
Three pens (none of which fit pen cap)
Zipper pull
Pink daisy shaped eraser
Misc little plastic toy parts
Nine glass marbles
2 head bands red and black
A sword for a Lego figure
A broken Ariel the Mermaid Earring
A plastic syringe (for kid’s medicine)
5 triple A batteries
One yellow Barbie shoe
Cow girl and scarecrow magnets
One of those toe separators you get at a pedicure
3 pony tail holders; one black, one green, and one pink with a piggy face
Mini dollhouse kitchen chair
Alligator PlayDoh cookie cutter
Plastic ring with purple stone
A ribbon from the Topsfield Fair
Burt’s Bees lip balm tube
A mysterious fuchsia colored crystal stone
Money That I collect in my Wonder Woman Bank on the shelf
1. 10 Quarters
2. 11 Dimes
3. 8 Nickels
4. 21 Pennies
5. One Dollar Us coin
6. 2 Kennedy half dollars
7. 5 cent buro/euro coin
8. 5 cent buro/euro coin
9. Canadian penny
10. A 5 Crown Czechoslovakian coin dated 1974
11. Two fake gold pirate booty coins
12. A Chuck E Cheese token
That's our year summed up. :) Thanks 2009. Quite a year. The shelf is now clean and ready for all of the crap we'll put there in 2010. Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Candy Theif Part One
Thank you all for your kind words and condolences regarding my break-up with Target. I am handling this like any other loss of love. I am eating a lot of assorted Christmas chocolates and boxes of over processed cheese flavored crackers. In fact the chocolate eating is turning into its own problem.
As the mom I buy everyone in the house Christmas candy for their stocking. I always give big Toblerone bars to carry on my husband’s family tradition and I buy Lindt truffles because they are just plain delicious. I always have extra bags of truffles around the holidays to put out for company, and as a treat for me since no one every buys me Christmas candy (sigh). Why don’t they ever buy me candy? Other than the fact that every Christmas I specifically ask my husband not to buy me candy. You know me I am always trying to lose weight. So back to the truffles…so I have been eating a few more treats than usual with the break up and all.
Every night since the break up I have been over indulging in my nightly chocolates. Sadly two nights ago I finished my last reserve chocolate and I was desperate for sweets. I was snooping around under the Christmas tree and found Alice’s untouched Christmas candy in a gift bag. Who can forget about candy? I mean other than me? I see her large Toblerone bar. I decide to have just a little piece off of the end. She won’t even notice. The candy has been sitting here for three days. She won’t notice a missing piece. Fast forward and hour and I have eaten the whole bar. I stash the empty cardboard Toblerone package in the trash and go to bed with a guilty heart but a very happy belly.
The next morning I find an angry Alice waving the empty Toberone package at Dylan as she chases him around the couch. “Dilly, you ate my canny!” Dylan stops running grabs me around the legs “Mom, I didn’t eat it!” Oh I am a bad bad woman. Hey why was Alice picking through the trash?
“I know Dylan.” Alice runs over to me and puts her hands on her hips. “Alice, mommy ate your candy. I am sorry.” Alice’s frown turns into a look of confusion. “Momma? You buy me new one?”
“Yes honey, when we go grocery shopping today I’ll buy a new one.” She smiles and throws the empty box at Dylan and runs out of the room. “Mom! She hit me! Now I should get a candy bar too.”
I pick up the empty carton and hit him in the head. “We’ll see honey we’ll see.”
I would love to tell you that I learned my lesson...I did not. More tomorrow
As the mom I buy everyone in the house Christmas candy for their stocking. I always give big Toblerone bars to carry on my husband’s family tradition and I buy Lindt truffles because they are just plain delicious. I always have extra bags of truffles around the holidays to put out for company, and as a treat for me since no one every buys me Christmas candy (sigh). Why don’t they ever buy me candy? Other than the fact that every Christmas I specifically ask my husband not to buy me candy. You know me I am always trying to lose weight. So back to the truffles…so I have been eating a few more treats than usual with the break up and all.
Every night since the break up I have been over indulging in my nightly chocolates. Sadly two nights ago I finished my last reserve chocolate and I was desperate for sweets. I was snooping around under the Christmas tree and found Alice’s untouched Christmas candy in a gift bag. Who can forget about candy? I mean other than me? I see her large Toblerone bar. I decide to have just a little piece off of the end. She won’t even notice. The candy has been sitting here for three days. She won’t notice a missing piece. Fast forward and hour and I have eaten the whole bar. I stash the empty cardboard Toblerone package in the trash and go to bed with a guilty heart but a very happy belly.
The next morning I find an angry Alice waving the empty Toberone package at Dylan as she chases him around the couch. “Dilly, you ate my canny!” Dylan stops running grabs me around the legs “Mom, I didn’t eat it!” Oh I am a bad bad woman. Hey why was Alice picking through the trash?
“I know Dylan.” Alice runs over to me and puts her hands on her hips. “Alice, mommy ate your candy. I am sorry.” Alice’s frown turns into a look of confusion. “Momma? You buy me new one?”
“Yes honey, when we go grocery shopping today I’ll buy a new one.” She smiles and throws the empty box at Dylan and runs out of the room. “Mom! She hit me! Now I should get a candy bar too.”
I pick up the empty carton and hit him in the head. “We’ll see honey we’ll see.”
I would love to tell you that I learned my lesson...I did not. More tomorrow
Monday, December 28, 2009
I was Fired For Buying A Zhu Zhu Pet
Let me get one thing straight. I loved Target. I loved shopping there and I truly loved working there. Ask anyone. I was the employee who danced through the door every shift and greeted my co-workers with genuine enthusiasm. As a Stay at home mom, I spent all day with my kid and was happy to be with other adults at a company I cherished. Oh I just loved being there.
Our romance started in early September when I got a job working in Softline’s Department; Softlines is just Target Lingo for clothing and accessories. Call me OCD or just plain crazy but I enjoyed putting away the clothes, neatening, straitening, and folding the clothes on the racks. I enjoyed the nightly challenge of taking a messy unorganized department and transforming it into a beautiful neat place that the guests would love to shop. Guests? Yes my favorite part of my job was helping our guests. At Target we call the customers guests and as a Target employee I treated the guests like my friends. Each guest in our store was treated the same as a friend in my home.
I got great satisfaction from helping them and always went that extra step. I would walk them across the store to find their item, call other stores, and once I even talked to a woman on her husband’s cell phone to ensure that he was buying the correct item for a school play.
Once I overheard a woman complain to her husband “How can this ridiculous store not have regular Onsies! I have looked everywhere and I am about to lose my mind!” I asked her if I could please show here were the Onsies were. I walked her and her husband over and found the size that she needed for her grandbaby. She thanked me and her husband gave me a high five. They both left with smiles on their faces.
Moments like this one made me so proud to wear the Target khaki and red. In fact we have an employee feedback system of called “Great Team“cards. Employees give their co-workers “Great Team” cards when they witness another Target employee doing a great job. I received stacks of these wonderful cards from my co-workers. It was so nice to be recognized for all of my hard work.
Oh Target I loved you and you loved me back. Or so I thought until December 23rd, two days before Christmas, when I was called into the assistant manager’s office and fired. Yes I was fired, blindsided. I went to work on Tuesday night and fifteen minutes into my shift I was asked to hand in my name badge, and discount cards. I think that I am still in shock. Why was I fired after three months of dependable, professional, first-rate work? Because I bought a nine dollar toy while not on a break. Yes, I bought a Zhu Zhu pet on company time.
Let me tell you with 100% honesty that at my Target store employees bought items on company time all of the time. Ask any cashier, they’ll say “we are not supposed too, but everyone does it”. Yes, the handbook states that we are not supposed to do this, however if it is a common practice in the store how was I supposed to know I could seriously get fired?
The firing assistant manager told me that not only did I make a purchas on company time, but I kept Guests from buying Zhu Zhu. She could not have been more wrong. The Zhu Zhu pet display was stocked at around 11:00pm the store was opened until 12:00. One of my co-workers ran over and said. “They stocked the Zhu Zhus” a bunch of us ran over to see for ourselves. What did I do? I took two off of the large display and then walk around to every guest that I could find and told them that we had Zhu Zhu pets. I even offered the guests the Zhu Zhu pets that I had in my hands, but they choose to go pick their own. After I was done running around to most of the departments informing guests I went to purchase my pets. My kids were desperate to get this toy. I told them that no one even Santa could get his hands on the pets and to not get their hopes up. I went to the register with a feeling of pure glee.
At the register the cashier said. “Since you aren’t on break I have to charge you full price.” I said that it was fine. That’s what they always say when people aren’t on break.
I ran to the back room to get my wallet. I paid for my pets and skipped back to put them in my locker I was so happy. I was going to surprise my kids with the red herring, the impossible Christmas present. The girl in the back office asked. “Will you have two happy kids this Christmas?” As a joke I said “Shh…this never happened.” I meant that she never saw me act like a silly dork getting all crazy and caught up in the hysteria over a $9.00 kid’s toy. But, I honestly was, I just kept picturing the looks on the kid’s faces when the unwrapped their Zhu Zhu pets.
When I got home I went right on Facebook and my email to spread the word that my Target store had Zhu Zhus and opened at 8:00am. I emailed the Franklin Mom’s Club, and the Franklin Parents Forum. I did my best to notify our customers that the pets were available.
Oh Target you broke my heart and there I was in the assistant manager’s office being dumped. Like all break ups I was hurt and confused. I didn’t understand why I was being singled out. A few employees bought Zhu Zhu pets that night and to this date all of them have not been fired. It is my understanding that if one employee is fired for breaking a rule than all of the others who broke the same rule at the same time must face the same consequence. In fact all of the employees who have ever made a purchase on store time should be fired. I guess that would be impossible as that would mean firing almost the entire staff.
There might be a few of you out there who are upset that Target employees got first dibs on this year’s critical critters. But please take this into account we work long demanding hours keeping our store neat and stocked for our guests. I know that I always went that extra mile to ensure that my guests left happy and with all of their needed purchases. I was also required to work weekends and spent the nights between Thanksgiving and Christmas staying as late as one O’clock making the store neat and clean for you the next day. I sacrificed holiday parties, family time, and most holiday activities to be at work. I did all this for just above minimum wage with no holiday perks from Target, no Christmas party, holiday bonus, or even a Christmas card. Shouldn’t I have one perk for all of my hard work and dedication? I thought so. Target did not agree.
My heart is still sad. I miss my store, my co-workers, and my guests. Oh Target a part of me will always love you, but I Will never look at you quite the same way again. Why did things have to end this way?
Above is a picture of Alice opening her Zhu Zhu pet on Christmas morning. Was it worth losing my job? You decide.
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