Of course I assume that she has a hang nail and is simply exaggerating. I say. “Honey, don’t worry your fingernail is not going to fall off.” Alice immediately pulls off the band aid and reveals her pinky finger with her little pink fingernail hanging off! I feel my eyes bug out, my baby’s entire pinky nail looks like a little pink door that opens and closes on a little hinge. I run back in the school and find the nurse. She explains that Alice’s fingernail is ripped off and I need to clip it off when we get home. They have no idea when it happened. Have I mentioned that my daughter is a stunt woman super hero? Who can apparently rip off her own fingernail and not make a peep.
Oh don’t worry the peep was coming.
About 30 minutes later Alice is screaming and thrashing in my arms. I am holding her down with one hand, wielding nail clippers in the other, defending myself from her with the other, and plugging my ears with the other. I manage to clip part of the nail and Alice melts into insanity. She starts screaming “Now I have no more fingernail! I love my fingernail. It gone forever!”
I let her go and she runs across the room and drives on to a chair. I have an epiphany. I put down the clippers and walk over to my crying girl.
“Sweety. Did mommy forget to tell you that fingernails grow back? I say. The sobs stop and she looks out from her thick brown bangs.
“My nail grow back?” She says.
“Yes sweetheart . See there is no need to cry “ I say.
“Like Sponge Bob?” She says.
“Yes, honey!” My daughter is so smart. ”Just like Sponge Bob”. I say.
“When they grow back?” She asks. I think for a moment.
“Probably in as little as a few weeks.”
“They grow back today!” She says with a huge smile.
“Um, no sweety human’s are not exactly like Sponge Bob. It takes longer for our parts to grow back.” I say. The tears again start streaming out of her blue eyes.
“My fingernail! It gone! Gone!”
I secretly wish we were all like Sponge Bob. I would rip my ears off right now!
