Happy Happy Day

My son's teachers are an answer to my prayers. They all told me that they enjoyed having my son in their class. They all said that he is fun, charming, and bright. Yes, he needs to calm down and focus, but they all spoke with sincere affection. His main classroom teacher totally “gets” him. She has changed her classroom schedule to shorter blocks of time to help him (and others). She said to me “He is an exceptional child so I give him exceptions. She accepts his excess energy and lets him get it out, instead of shaming him and punishing him. Like his mom experiences as a student with ADD. I have been so worried that he will be treated like I was. Never understood, always told to try harder, always told to concentrate harder, just called lazy. When you have ADD or ADHD trying harder is like telling a fish to get wetter. My school experience broke my love for learning and crippled my motivation. In elementary school I settled for a C average and assumed that I was stupid.
That was in the 1970’s. in the year 2011, my son is surrounded by talented resourceful teachers who understand his limitations and focus on his talents. Their main concern is helping him succeed not trying to change who he is. I am so happy.
Yes we need to get the boy in therapy and on medication to help him with his struggles. Instead of pressuring me and making me feel guilty. She actually told me that I was doing a great job and told me to give myself a break, that we have time. I almost cried tears of happiness.

These conferences went so well that I might even consider giving myself a break. Maybe.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Today is the day I dread, no not the day that I am forced to go through the Naked Scanner at Boston’s Logan airport, worse; parent teacher conferences. Today I will forgo my workout pants and trademark fleece pullover in exchange for structured pants, a tailored shirt, and even wear make-up. My adult costume will be my armor; my make-up my mask to hold back my tears. For me, parent teacher conferences are a mirror. They reflect my sons many struggles and my failings as a parent. No matter how delicately they dance around the issue and use PC phrases like “energetic” “enthusiastic” “eager” “spirited” the message comes through loud and clear. No matter how they spin it to make me feel better the truth is that my son has ADHD and he is driving them all crazy and they want me to do something about it.


“something” is code for they want me to medicate him. They can’t legally tell me this. They will tell me in other ways. “He can’t sit still on his own” “He can’t slow down and concentrate without help” “He is doing the best that he can, but you should talk to his pediatrician about how he can do better.” I know all of this. We went through this last year. I tried 2 different medications and they both led to him crying and freaking out in school and being unable to fall asleep. He was like a neurotic hormonal teenage girl. His teacher told me that she saw no progress and that his behaviors concerned her.

I know in my heart that my little boy needs to go to a specialist and get a full SPED evaluation. Obviously he has ADHD, that has been confirmed, but I see a lot of OCD and anxiety. The poor kid wants to succeed. He does get A’s, B’s, and an occasional C, now, but he is like a hyper puppy in all of his classes. I am going to hear about all about how smart he. How he spends most of his class time being a clown and distracting the other kids. I am going to be told how much potential he has, how if he could just focus getting all As would be a breeze, and academics would not a constant struggle.

A struggle it is. He regularly cries while doing homework his frustration level shooting into outer space. I hate to see him struggle. I hate to hear that he is having a hard time. I hate when the teachers look at me with such hope and optimism that now that I know the truth that I can rush him to the doctor and fix him.

I can’t fix him. I can’t even take him to the doctor. Our lives have been on a roller coaster and we haven’t had “good” consistent insurance for two years. A doctor’s appointment is only a hundred or so dollars, but the prescriptions that didn’t work cost us 198.00 a month. A full evaluation with a specialist cost $3,000.00. What do I do today? Do I smile and admit to his teachers that he is I know that he is struggling and suffering because we cannot provide for him? That I, his mother whose main role in life is to protect and care for him cannot help him?

Is it better to sink us with more financial dept for an eval and saddle us with crazy monthly prescription bills? Would the stress of the financial burdens make us more stressed and affect him negatively in other ways that might impinge on his school performance in other ways?

PS we make too much for government help.

Ben Franklin's Turkey

"For my own part I wish the Eagle had not been chosen the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the Fishing Hawk ... For in truth the Turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America ... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on."


~ Benjamin Franklin in a letter to his daughter, Sarah Bache

I love turkeys’ they are so bizarre. Real wild turkeys are not as pretty and puffed up as the traditional Thanksgiving spokes model variety. Those perfectly coiffed butter balls are the poultry super models with their gorgeous white feathers and colorful neck-thingies get them photo ops with presidents. Wild turkeys on the other hand are more like the tanned plain Jane variety. The turkeys around here look like a skinny brown bowling pin with tail feathers.


I must admit that I love them! No they aren’t glamorous and they don’t hang out with celebrities. But seeing them always makes me smile. Let me tell you I never saw a wild turkey in my life, when I was a kid my back yard was an alley between two brick apartment buildings. I thought that turkeys only came in plastic wrap with directions printed on the side and a pop-up timer. Now that I live out here in the suburbs I see turkeys running all over the place. I see them crossing the roads, in the woods, at the dump; those little guys are running all over town. Every time I see them I just smile. The novelty of seeing an actual live turkey walking around town never wears off. If I am in my car I always stop to watch them. Sometimes I gobble, sadly, they rarely respond.

We have a family of turkeys who hang out in the woods behind my back yard. Every couple of weeks we see a five to seven turkeys running through our back yard. I always giggle. Turkeys! Walking by my swing set! So cool! I smile, and then I scream “TURKEYS” and the kids and I run out to the back yard to gobble at them. I get so excited! The kids who have grown up with all variety of animals appearing in the yard are less excited than I. I guess it’s all about what you know. Bunnies, foxes, coyotes, deer, and yes, turkeys are what they know. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Happy Haloween

Hope that you all enjoyed calorie free candy day. I ate at least 20 pounds of candy. My plan is to grow the candy in my womb and give birth to an army of chocolate bunnies by Easter. Or maybe this lump in my stomach is just more fat. Thank goodness for fall sweaters.

Other news from scenic Franklin is that the show Hoarders came to town. No not to my house! A house down town. I tried to spy but I didn't see anything interesting. Just a few large storage pods in the yard. The house was recently put on the market. Imagine that you buy your house and then see it on the show Hoarders filled to the rafters with rats and cat poop? Oh Lord, please I hope that's not the case.

Other news is that my husband is still here and he is not going to India, he might be going to Denver. He also might leave that company all together, he has interviewed in Providence RI and in East Boston. We are still riding the roller coaster and hoping for the best.

On a sad note my sweet Aunt isa dying of cancer and will be passing away with in the next week of so. It might be days, only God knows. When that happens I will be flying to Texas for the funeral. Not the vacation I was hoping for.

Everything will be OK, tomorrow is half price candy day!