Oh Tanenbalm!

I put up my Christmas tree on Thursday night. I put the light on Friday morning and then Friday after school the kids and I put in the ornaments. But my kids are young and they had their ornaments all grouped together on the ends of long branches making my tree look like a closed umbrella. I rearranged most of their ornaments only to find that the tree has way too many branches. This tree is like my legs in the winter time. It just look thick and messy branches all crazy sticking out all over the place. What does a sane woman do? I go down stairs and grab Dave’s pruning shears and start hacking away at the tree. I was going to tame this feral over grown bush. I snip her, I clip there, and the tree is starting to look good. Then I clip hear a loud pop and suddenly sparks are flying out of the tree. Just for a few seconds. Just in case I quickly unplug the lights. Yes, the lights. The lights that I have just cut severed while plugged in to electricity.


I know…I don’t often think my hair brain ideas through before I act. Or in this case cut. I then spend an hour removing the electro hazard lights from the tree, the tree with all of the ornaments. Only half of them fell off during my demolition, and most of the needles.

Fast forward to yesterday when I went to buy more pretty white Christmas tree lights only to find them all sold out. I arrive home with bright tacky colored lights and start winding them around the tree. I wind them up and up, around the few ornaments still hanging on for dear life. I wind up and around and around until I reach the remaining string of white lights. That’s right! I didn’t remove that string of lights because I went out to buy more. I can’t have colored lights on the bottom and colored on top!

I remove the remaining string of white lights sending more ornaments and pine needles flying. I get the step ladder and wrestle with the last few lights and carefully attach a new string of colored lights. By the time I am done the tree is looking old and haggard, standing there void of most of the needles and ornaments, I on the other hand was covered from head to toe with tree sap. I still have sticky brown spots on my face, arms, hands,  and my hair will never be the same.

That's how I do the tree and I wonder why I have no time to write?