Day 3

Day 3 :


First I would like to thank my kids for downloading the virus that slows/freezes my internet making every click of the mouse take 30 seconds to 30 minutes. Having this immense frustrating work immobilizing issue really helps me understand why I turned to food in the first place. Usually under this amount of stress I would run to the cupboard and eat granola bars or cookies, or both and then devour the entire contents of the snack jar and return calm and ready to solve the problem. Now on the juice fast, stress like the virus has turned me into a snarling nasty witch. As a sat and watched my internet become unresponsive for the 18th time I started to consider typing on the keyboard with a hammer.

Needless to say I was acting like Eliza Doolittle before she met Professor Higgins and even before she had her little publicized exorcism. Too bad that it was the night of my brother-in-laws Jack and Jill Wedding shower. I honestly belonged locked in the basement and definitely not dressed up in public. Of course I wait until 1 hour before the even to wrap the present, make juice, leaving me about 4 minutes to change my clothes and put on make-up. I drive us there, us being, Dave, me and the kids. Yes the kids we were told that this was a casual family get together what could go wrong?

For starters we walk in an hour late, and if you don’t know me being late makes me insane. I would rather walk down Main Street in a bikini than arrive anywhere an hour late, not to mention being late to an important event like this. Secondly, the juice I made was disgusting and drinking it made me gag. Thirdly, the food looked great, and I had to go the buffet with the kids and pile their plates with chicken parmesan, meatballs, rolls, and ziti (that they didn’t eat). Don’t worry I had a nice sample of bright red sauce on the cuff of my brand new white blouse.

Then there was dancing, I obviously promised Alice that I would dance exclusively with her, let her lead, which meant holding both her hands the entire time, not complaining about her spinning me around till I barfed up green stuff, dropped to her knees, diving on to me knocking me down to the floor in some swing move that I has never been invented, scream and cry if I dance to a song that she doesn’t approve, or spontaneously let me go and start running around the dance floor like she is on fire and of course yelling at me as I try to escape back to the table. Is it me? Or does my daughter sound like of those controlling obsessive men those magazines articles warn us about? Needless to say after a night of what I had pictured as being happy fun mother daughter dancing, I was a battered, exhausted, and trying not to cry. The only keeping me from crying was being distracted by the huge cake five feet from my seat. I actually sat there weighing the pros and cons of picking up the whole cake and devouring it with my hands while hiding in a stall in the ladies room.

I decided that I would go with plan B. Be a complete evil witch to my children until they were both screaming & crying simultaneously. Then I was especially nasty to my husband when he tried to help. I honestly felt like throwing myself on the ground providing a tantrum that would give Alice a run for her money. I hate feeling negative emotions! I am used to being the smiling funny fat lady who stuffs her emotions down her throat with lots of cake and red wine.

I left that party feeling naked and raw. But I did it. I survived. Dave and I also learned the hard way that the kids will not be going to the wedding.

Day 2

Day two and I am tired. It’s 10:22 and I am a little hungry too. But I felt GREAT most of the day. I mean great like I started question my belief that all joggers are insane. I thought for a few moments about trying jogging out. We’ll that is after someone creates a breathable, sports bra that can prevent bouncing while lifting and separating. Yeah this bra thing is my main line of offence for not jogging. That’s not important, what is important is that me, the exhausted sloth, was full of energy today and even considering that jogging might be a possibility be a good thing.


I was also in a great mood today. Ran errands, shopping at Walmart I picked up painting supplies to finally finish painting the down stairs. I canned 10 pounds of crushed tomatoes for winter. I was excited to buy mulch so I can weed and mulch the garden before winter. I have not been excited about doing projects. I feel like if I didn’t have to sleep I could finish them all in one day. It was like I had health pulsating through my veins. I felt fantastic!

I did feel hungry at times and almost attacked a few people to wrestle away their cups of morning coffee but life is good. I actually like not having to think about eating. I even went out to eat with friends at a Mexican restaurant and I was fine. We’ll see how I’ll feel tomorrow.

The Fat Lady is Singing...

The party is over!

I Lydia Dustin of somewhat sound mind and very fat rundown body to here by swear to put my mental & physical health first therefore ingesting nothing but fresh fruits and vegetable juice for 10 days.

I saw the movie Fat Sick & Nearly Dead about a fat sick guy my age who reboots his body, mind, & spirit by fasting on only organic fruit and vegetable juice. He did it for 60 days. I am going to try 10 and see how it goes.

I know what you’re thinking. OH MY-this seems so drastic! Lydia must have tripped while chasing the ice cream truck and giving herself a concussion! No friends. I am simply detoxing 41 years of bag food choices.

My love hate relationship with food started when I was a little girl I always had a void and I have always filled it with food. I was put on my first diet at 7. That summer I lost 20 pounds. I came back to school a “regular” sized girl. Can you guess what happened? Before I even put my little backpack in my new cubby Adam Mazmanian walked by me and said “Hello FATSO!”

That was that. I had given up my food, my only comfort and security for a whole summer so these kids wouldn’t torture me. The twenty pounds was back by Christmas, perhaps even an extra five or ten for good measure. Hence began my life of turning to food and yo-yo dieting. Throughout the years I would lose weights on diets and gain it all back plus more back. I am not going to list the bother typing the list. I did them all. The thinnest I have ever been as an adult is 159 pounds. I 26 years old and a perfect size 10. I was a knock out and it freaked me out. All of my “guy” friends started treating me differently, other women treated me like I was a threat and got all catty, and I wanted to go back to being safe and invisible.

Hence I got happy and fat again. Being the funny fat friend is much less work and responsibility then being the sexy “star” plus you get to eat whatever you want. I did find a man who loved me for me no matter what I weighed. For my impending wedding in 2000 I lost 50 pounds. I maintained the loss by basically starving myself. I ate one meal s day and exercised 3 days a week. I never told anyone. I shut down my body to the point that I went into starvation mode and never lost a pound more than 50. That one year was the only time in my life that my weight didn’t fluxgate. I stopped my deprivation on the honeymoon and gained 11 pounds in one week.

In 2007 I had Lap Band surgery. What a joke! I needed brain band surgery. In the first month I lost 35 pounds because I was terrified to eat anything off the diet. Then once I learned that you can basically eat whatever you want I was back to my old ways. I still have the band but am making plans to get it removed. Honestly what they don’t tell you is that the band makes it almost impossible to eat lean meats and raw fruits & vegetables. Do you know what goes down the easiest? Chips of every kind , nuts of all kinds, cereal, dairy products, ice cream and popsicles, pasta, all of the things I was not supposed to eat! Also no matter how carefully I chew I thrown up my food every day. They call it a productive burp. Basically the food (it can be a small piece of skin off a grape) blocks the band and everything that does on top of that blockage comes back up. It doesn’t have that acidic vomit taste, it just tastes like the food mashed up. Also this continuous friction on my esophagus has it enflamed all of the time so I actually start every day by throwing -up morning coffee and even water. I believe that the heat from the coffee soothes the inflammation. I also have mood swings, allergy, anxiety, and I am tired all of the time. I am addicted to sugar, I eat to for every reason but being hungry, and I don’t exercise at all.

So here I am 41 with 42 knocking on the door on 9/24. I weigh 235 pounds I am 5’3”. My body mass index is 41.7 (An Obese BMI is 3.0 or more)(A morbidly obese BMI is 40.0 and over) So basically I am a few Oreos away from being carried out of my house by a crane while Richard Simmons screams and cries outside n his sparkly shorts and my neighbors record the spectacle for Youtube.

I have got to make drastic changes to my lifestyle and take my health seriously. I am going to start my juice fast today and continue for 10 days. I am going to write every day and record my progress.

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