Hate

3:15 pm waiting for my daughter to come out of school. I put down my pocketbook and dig my shoes in finding a sturdy position on the pavement and bend my knees. Like clockwork my daughter comes out of the school with her classmates, sees me, dramatically throws her backpack on to the ground and starts running across the courtyard screaming “Mommy! Mommy!” at the top of her lungs. Now sprinting at top speed she reaches me and jumps up as I lift her up into my open arms and I swing her around. I am a lucky woman to get such a wonderful greeting every day. You know the kind of greeting that is usually exhibited by families of soldiers returning from prolonged tours of duty. Or the dramatic reunions of lovers that happen at the end of most made for TV movies. I love dramatic reunions whether watching them on the nightly news or in a movie I always tear up. However after experiencing such a reunion five days a week for the entire school year I have decided that I much prefer to be the spectator. I do still tear up from time to time but usually because my of my aching back.

This afternoon she is ever more excited than usual. After three spins she is still clinging to my neck with a huge smile plastered on her face. I shake her off and before her feet hit the ground she is dancing and singing “I have a secret! I have a secret!” She runs into me almost knocking me down.

“I have to tell you a secret! A secret!” She pulls on my arm until I lean over so that her mouth is level with my ear. She takes care to move all of my hair back from my face and tucking it behind my ear. She puts her mouth right up to my ear, she starts to whisper and her hot breath tickles, I start to laugh.

“Mom stop it! This is serious.” She whispers again. “Jane’s* mom hates you!” Then she whips her head around so we are face to face. She starts to giggle with anticipation.

“Alice don’t spread gossip.” I say. Alice moves my hair and puts her mouth to my ear and whispers.

“Jane told me! She said that we can’t have a play date because her mom hates you.” Then she whips her head around covering her mouth with her hands her eyes popping with delight.

“Come on, you’re being silly, her mom is so nice. She doesn’t hate me we talk all of the time.” Alice takes her hands from her mouth and motions for me to come closer. She again whispers in my ear.

“Jane says that her mom hates you because you talk too much.” Yeah that sounds like me. I think. I do talk way too much. But Jane’s mom acts like she likes me? Why does she act nice to me if she hates me? Well it’s not like she’s going to scream “Leave me alone!” if we pass by each other in the parking lot. Alice is still grinning at me a little too widely. I straighten up and take Alice by the hand. “Alice enough talk about this.” I say. As we walk together to pick up my son and then we all get in the car.

“Dylan” Alice says. “Jane’s mom hates mom!” She says loudly.

“Alice enough about that. I don’t want to hear about it again.” As calmly as possible.

“Well” Dylan says. “ Her brother John and I are enemies, maybe the whole family is just mean.”

“Kids” I say sternly. “Seriously enough about this.”

I turn up the radio. Why does Jane’s mom hate me? She is always so nice and acts happy to talk to me. We sent their family a Christmas card for goodness sake. I am magically transported back to High School. I start to make a mental list of Jane’s mom’s friends. Most of them smile and say hi to me. Do they all hate me too? Do they all talk about me behind my back? What do they say? The kids start bickering and I am returned to reality. I drive home get swallowed up by the evening chores and forget all about Jane’s mom. After all I am a mature grown woman.

The following couple of days I do my best to act like an adult and not a tween, but why did Jane’s mom hate me. This woman hated me enough to tell her 6-year-old daughter that she hated me? I asked around my circle of mutual friends if Jane’s mom ever mentioned that she hates me? Everyone said the same thing.

“Jane’s mom is so nice” usually followed by “who couldn’t’ like you Lydia?” I always answer with the truth. Yes I am fabulous, I know, but some people just don’t like me. I am like sushi people love me or I just freak them out and they want nothing to do with and that’s okay. But how can Jane’s mom hate me? All last spring we were buddies at the park and at soccer. 

The big moment came the following week. Jane’s mom came to pick Jane up after school, usually Jane takes the bus. We saw each other and she said hello and smiled at me. She asked how I was and I said fine. I walked off to talk to my other friend. About 15 minutes later Alice comes screaming across the cout yard and when I am done spinning her around she runs to find Jane and they both start giggling together. Alice comes over and takes me by the hand and drags me over to Jane’s mom. Jane is smiling at Alice and looking from me to her mother in anticipation. I am not sure of what? Were they expecting a Jerry Springer cat fight? I just smiled and Jane’s mother smiled. Alice finally said.

“Mom! It’s Jane’s mom.” I smiled awkwardly and say.

“I know.” I smile at Jane’s mom who thanks to Alice I am standing way to close to. “What are you guys up to today?” I ask feeling completely embarrassed and trying to sound cool.

“Today Jane has a doctor’s appointment. Come on Jane. See you later.” As they turned to walk away Alice says in my ear too loudly.

“Aren’t you going to ask her why she hates you?” There is no way that Jane’s mom didn’t hear. I am sure that the whole court yard heard. I smiled and ignored her question.

“Come on we have to get your brother.” I said.

“But mom!” She pleaded. I drag her towards her brother’s classroom.

The next day when I picked up Alice said was all excited to tell me that... “Jane’s mom doesn’t hate you! Jane was just kidding!”

*The names have been changed.

P.S. On Friday Alice told me that Jane was just trying to make me feel better, but the truth is that she mother really hates me. :(